Post by Tony Savage on Oct 5, 2017 15:09:42 GMT -5
Atlanta, Ga. 0830 hrs
03 October 2018
I had forgotten who I was at the last place I picked a check up from for my craft.
I was at my best when I was me; the guy that was the antithesis of what a wrestler should be.
No famous family name, at least, not in the squared circle, to back me. No world famous wrestling school taught me. I don't speak like the rest of these lames. I don't think like them. While the rest of them are on twitter talking about getting married, buying a dog, or other equally banal shit most grapplers are content to let out in the air....
I was out there, winning world championships, building feds back up from the dead. Earning a rep as one of the best in the game, despite seemingly having NONE of the qualities that make a great wrestler. The aberration became the standard. I did it in Boardwalk, in N.A.W., and in E.W.C. I did EVERYTHING the critics and the traditionalist decried wouldn't work, and not only did it work, hell, I even had others trying to put their big boy pants and the Southern drawl and try to do it like Dad does it.
Then, I fucked it all up by listening to everybody else's words but the ones in my head.
You need to change your language and look. You need to be more approachable to the media and to sponsors. You should be more like other wrestlers, because your persona just doesn't sell like it used to...
That's where everything got fucked in the ass; when I started listening to management and people who had NO fucking clue how the game, nor I, works. I bought into the sellout bit, and well....
Here I am, having to start all over again.
Now, don't get it twisted; I ain't bitter nor blaming anybody else for what happened. That's the way this business works. Board members and managers and consultants who either have never been in the ring, or have been gone from it so long, they wouldn't have any clue how to get through the ropes anymore, they do that. They always think, at best, they can add an ingredient not needed to juice things up, or at worst, get mad when you make it without their guidance and blessing, and do everything in their power to make you in their image.
I let myself get dragged into the bullshit. I let myself get diverted from my path by outsiders.
That shit ain't happening again.
I'm kind of glad it happened, to be honest. Being as young as I still am, it was an education not just in the biz, but in myself...
Good fighters let others guide their flight plan; great ones, they soar where-ever they want.
Like Kendrick rhymes over my Beats headphones, it's time to levitate past the bullshit....
I'm ready for that employee eval now, Tony.
For lack of searching for a more conventionally qualified candidate, and the fact that ol' girl could literally suck the mortar out of a brick retaining wall, Tony decided to hire Tiffany, a former, as she calls it, "exotic dance specialist" *cough**cough**stripper*cough* to handle Tony's dick, er, I mean, his professional affairs.
Turns out, she was pretty decent in this position. Helped that she was one of the few strippers who actually wasn't bullshitting when she said she was stripping for college; she's got a 3.8 GPA from Georgia Tech, which pissed Tony off somewhat, because he NEVER got a 3.8 from that damn school. (might've helped if didn't spend all his time scheming on pussy and making fun of his roommate's addiction to Magic: The Gathering, until he nearly went mad, screaming "I don't have enough mana to play counterspell" in his underwear until campus security escorted him off the grounds.
But that 3.8 GPA stat didn't interest Tony right now; more like the 38 DD's. Sweaty and smiling, he throws his gym bag down, smirks, and goes over to the fridge next to his desk to grab some glasses and a cold 1.75 liter bottle of Goose.
First off, Ms. Parker, you're completely out of Savage Solutions uniform. Fucking excellent job. Second, understand this is a thorough evaluation, and my criteria is very stringent. So, Tiff....
All my shit for the week in order? *pouring some drink*
Yup.
Nobody in the office lighting stuff on fire or flinging their own feces at random pedestrians?
Not since you told Frank he had to quit popping acid on company time.
All my shit still here?
Present and accounted for, especially what's important right now. *licking her lips and stroking his junk *
Well, shit the bed, Tiff....GUESS WHO JUST WON EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH!
And off come the gym shorts and the shirt, and he's now down to Deadpool boxers and the Jordans he was wearing in training. And now, he's about to drop dem superhero drawers and give her the benefits package when, without them noticing, the door opens...
Alex Young: Hey, Tony, sorry to bother ya, but if you had time for a.....AAAUGH! I should of knocked!
Nice job, mic jockey! You just proved manners are going the way of phone booths and the Republican Party's credibility! Who let you in here in the first place!
Some guy with a can of gas and a gun holster having an argument with a houseplant....
Goddamn Frank....ugh....whatta you want, Alex?
First off, I'd like to burn out the image of your dick Pearl Harboring me out of my brain. Second, I was wondering if you had time for an interview....
Really? Right now I don't have blood flowing in my head to keep forming coherent sentences. Go wait in the lobby while I....
Actually, babe...would it be alright if he joined us?
At first, this annoys Tony, but then he sports this devilish "I'm finna fucks with this dude's day s'more"grin:What you say, mouthpiece; wanna jump in this like double dutch!
Wha?
Ya heard me; this birdie's all sorts of ready to get spit-roasted like rotisserie chicken, so I think you drop them drawers and help me take ol' girl to Boston Market.
Alex is uncomfortable as hell:Uh, no thanks; I'm good....
C'mon; don't be a pussy fart. Let's plug up all her outlets until she overloads, bro. And don't worry; this ain't Ghost-Busters; there's no crossing streams, Veinkman, although....
*Now really fucking with him* I dunno; you got some AWFULLY dreamy eyes....
I'LL BE IN THE LOBBY HAVING A COKE; I'LL WAIT!
Both Tiff and Tony are nearly dying of laughter:Man, I better making this interview thing good; I think I done messed up dude's psyche up with that.
******
2 hours later, with a fresh shower and freshly drained nutt-sack. Tony and Alex take a seat in a conference room near Tony's office.
Ladies and gentlemen, fans of Premier Fighting across the world, as if this roster wasn't stacked enough,
wasn't talented enough, owner Kaden Kross just made another huge move to bring P.F. to the forefront of professional wrestling and combat sports. We have an exclusive one-on-one with former multiple fed world champion, and, from my own experience, a straight up super-freak....
ATL's finest....Tony Mother....fucking Savage!! Tony, how is it hanging these days?
Oh, Alex, you should know, since you walked in on me about to make the nightly deposit; it's hanging lower than people's opinion of Drew Stevenson these days. Remember that guy; the one that used to be good until he channeled his inner Jared Fogel in a promo?
Yeah, like your dong; trying to get that out of my head, too! So, Tony, you've been all around the world,
wrestling with some of the biggest companies in the industry. Basically, talent like you could be on any roster you want. What compelled you to gravitate towards signing with Premiere?
Basically, Alex, I got tired of the mainstream scene. A lot of companies got complacent and start riding off their rep. They got lethargic, stuck in neutral, doing the same shit over and over again. When I saw Kessler was staking out new territory in a new frontier, I thought to myself: well, shit, being a constantly hungry competitor and a venture capitalist, this shit was right up my alley. Brave New World type beat, ya know. I needed a new avenue, a new adventure, because this business is constantly morphing and moving.
I like the set-up, here; Fox Sports has put a lot of trust and capital to make this shit work, we've got a healthy mix of new cats looking to make a name and elite veteran talent. We've got an ownership and management team looking to bring back real combat in a sport infested in "sports entertainment" bullshit and vapid, inconsequential side conjecture, and, ain't gonna lie...
Heard the catering backstage was on point. What can I say; embarrassing motherfuckers burns calories. Nothing completes a long and fulfilling day of making dip-shits leak blood like a good meal.
Your background is a bit unique; while many wrestlers claim a great lineage or a famous wrestling school,
you started the game in a unique manner; you learned how to wrestle while in an active combat zone. Tell the people out there about your start in wrestling in Afghanistan of all places.
Yeah, former platoon sergeant of mine used to have an old man who wrestled back in the day. Gotta understand something; there wasn't a whole lot to do in the 'Stan besides shoot people and not die from boredom. Kabul ain't exactly know for culture, the club scene isn't exactly popping, and with all the restrictions placed on our activities, we needed outlets. So,
on our off times, we'd put on shows for troops. Maybe make $20 and a 12 pack of beer for our efforts. Shit was like meth; one hit, I was hooked.
After you left the Army, you went back to work for your family's bail bonding and enforcement company. That's some dangerous work, chasing down violent criminals while trying to maintain a wrestling career.
Yeah; I can't tell you how many times my ass has been in danger, but not only was the payola amazing, and I was taking some truly scummy motherfuckers off the streets, it helped me prepare for some of the crazy bullshit the game has to offer. I mean, look at all these bootleg tough guys and boiler room dwelling freaks infesting wrestling like fucking bedbugs.
How many mascara wearing goth kids are going are going on camera acting miserable as shit, thinking because they like wallowing in a pit of misery like hogs in shit, they somebody that should make me piss my drawers. Or some roided out scrotum sack who thinks he's hardcore because he likes swinging blunt objects and doesn't mind absorbing concussions until they Chris Benoit somebody. Cats like that make me laugh, because usually, when they face me, I take the fabric softener to their hard-ass image. That's what I do.
One last thing, Tony; what can fans expect from newly revitalized Tony Savage?
Simple: what I've been doing while others are procrastinating and perpetrating...
Dominating, annihilating, and levitating past the competition.
Just a little heads up to the rest of y'all making a living in the ring here...
If you ain't got the heart to fuck with me, best you get out my way before I treat you like pins and bowl over you. And to anybody that does have that heart, congratulations....
Come Fight Night (trademarked)....
Tony balls up his right fist and cracks his knuckles:I'm punching that motherfucker straight out of your chest!
OOC: Yay! First CD promo in Premiere history!